I don’t think I could have written Bad Romance, my novel about love gone wrong, without Lady Gaga, Beyoncé, or the dozens of other artists whose take-no-crap songs are the rush of adrenaline you need when it’s time to say boy (or girl) ‘bye. Grace and Gavin are in one of those relationships that burn so hot and so fast that it annihilates you. Co-dependence doesn’t even begin to describe their relationship. These are the songs that I imagine Grace had to listen to in order to get to a place where she could cut Gavin away for good (or can she?). Some of them are featured in the book itself. 

Below, I share some of my favorite songs on my Bad Romance playlist and why I chose each one for this semi-autobiographical break-up book. These are the songs that helped me through the toughest scenes, when memories of my own bad romance threatened to bring me down. They reminded me why I wrote this book in the first place and that we are all stronger than we think we are when we’re in abusive relationships—and that the most important decision you can make is to choose yourself. 

1. “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga

I mean, duh, right? Not only does the book title come from this killer song but the video lets you know that Gaga comes out on top in the end of this bad romance. 

2. “#1 Crush” by Garbage

I first got obsessed with this song when it was in Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet. This song encapsulates the claustrophobic, all-consuming culture of an unhealthy relationship. I would die for you. This is what it’s like for Grace and Gavin. They can only see each other—so much that it becomes impossible for Grace to see that she’s losing herself.  

3. “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift

Man, I said this so many times in my bad romance. I think when Grace hears this song, she knows Taylor doesn’t mean it. She knows that Taylor’s boy will do something unbearably romantic, and then the whole evil cycle will start right back up again. (P.S. “Mean” is also on the playlist, and that’s all about Grace’s awful stepdad that she and her friends call The Giant. Grace begins to realize that these dudes are walking all over her and that it’s not because there’s something wrong with her—it’s because they have their own issues and are using her as a scape goat for their own self-loathing). 

4. “Irreplaceable” by Beyoncé

There is absolutely more than one Beyoncé song on this playlist (how could there not be?), but this one’s my favorite. I love how she doesn’t give a f*ck. She’s kicking her man to the curb—literally. And then, of course, “Sorry,” which is featured in the book as a car sing-along with Grace and her besties (middle fingers up, right?). What I love about Beyoncé is that her songs are so empowering. She has no trouble schooling these boys on how she deserves to be treated. And she believes in her own self-worth, valuing and trusting that above anything a guy is going to try to put on her. 

5. “Roar” by Katy Perry

Dude, I just love this song. If you need to remember that you are awesome and that you have the strength you need to get rid of this guy or girl who is making you feel like crap, blast this one and have a solo dance party in your room. (While you’re at it, blast Perry’s “Part of Me,” also on the playlist and pretty much one of the best break-up songs ever. It reminds you that you are still you without this person. When they’re gone, that’s not something they get to take with them.)

6. “100x” by Tegan and Sara

This is one of those songs when you know you screwed up and didn’t make a clean break, and then ended up treating your boyfriend like crap, hoping he’d break up with you. Grace knows that she did some pretty uncool things to Gavin—she’s not perfect in all of this. And she feels really bad about that. And, sure, he kind of deserved it, but at the end of the day, the golden rule always applies, right? So, just lady-up and tell him it’s over. Dragging it out makes it impossible to ever remember any of the good—and it turns you into someone you don’t even recognize. 

7. “Lost & Found” by Lianne La Havas

Okay, this song is a BUMMER, but it does such a good job of speaking to how completely someone can break you. If this is you, know that you’re not alone. In the book, Grace absolutely comes to this place. I myself was considering suicide when I was in my own bad romance. When you’re in it, it’s so hard to see outside of the relationship. You can’t bear to break-up, but you know staying together is literally killing you. If you’re here, get your best friends to keep you sane. Mine (and Grace’s) were there for me during the toughest times, even when I refused to break up with someone who was hurting me so badly. The way out is to speak about what’s happening. Tell people you trust who have your back. Hopefully, an adult or two as well. Get advice but listen to your heart. Get real with yourself. And then do what you have to do to keep yourself safe. 

8. “I Will Survive” by Cake

One of my favorite covers ever. This is one to sing at the top of your lungs with your besties. Use it to get strong to go for the break-up or afterwards when you find yourself getting weepy and seriously considering going back to that toxic soup of a relationship. It might seem like the entire world has just blown up, but I promise—I swear—it gets better. I’m speaking from the other side of crazy. You don’t even know how good it’s going to be. 

9. “So What” by Pink

THIS SONG. Pink’s like, I am gonna do whatever the hell I want, and you can’t stop me because I’M THE BOSS OF ME. Grace and her besties absolutely danced to this one. Keep this in your back pocket when your ex (or soon-to-be-ex) tries to manipulate you and cut you down so that they can get their way. You don’t need them. You really don’t.  

10. “Bulletproof” by La Roux

This song has an infectious dance beat and will totally keep you from giving in when he (or she) begs you to take them back. You’re bulletproof. And it’s gonna take a lot more than chocolates and flowers and empty promises for someone to win your heart again. So, get out there and shake it. Enjoy being single. Don’t rush into something else right away. That’s just a one-way ticket to another bad romance. See what it’s like to get back to yourself. Figure out what you want in a partner. Have fun. 

11. “Brave” by Sara Bareilles

Yes, yes, yes. This song should be on repeat if you’re terrified to rip the Band-Aid off and move on. This is for those moments when you’ve worked up the nerve to finally end things, and then he tells you you’re horrible and that he’ll kill himself if you break up with him (so, of course, you stay—don’t). This is for those nights when it hurts too much imagining being alone, to live your life without this person. You know, the whole imagined life where you spend Friday night alone, where you go to your favorite places, but without them. It’s for those moments when you know exactly how much it will hurt when you find out they’ve found someone else. Why don’t you tell them the truth? / Say what you wanna say / And let the words fall out / Honestly I wanna see you be brave. 

12. “Seasons of Love” by Rent

Grace and her friends are drama nerds and her favorite musical of all time is Rent. A line from the song is the first sentence of the novel. This musical gets Grace through the toughest days at home, when she feels like she might be stuck forever in her dead-end town. The characters and stories keep her dream to move to NYC and be a director alive. And it’s these dreams she has that give her the strength to choose herself. This song goes at the end of your break-up playlist because it’s a reminder of what you’re aiming for—a love that fills you up, makes you stronger, and brings joy into your life. It might feel like that’s impossible, that you’re too broken and cut up to ever have a love like that. Maybe you’re scared to try again. But love is always worth the fight. You win some, you lose some. As long as you keep getting back in the ring, you’ll find someone who you deserve, but you’ll also remember that some of the best love out there can be found in your friendships and in the love you give yourself. 

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness month. If you or someone you care about is in an abusive relationship of any kind (emotionally, verbally, or physically), the Bad Romance resource page has everything you need to get the help you need. One in three teens has been affected by teen dating violence. It’s real. You’re not alone, not even a little bit. 

Bad Romance by Heather Demetrios

Grace wants out. Out of her house, where her stepfather wields fear like a weapon and her mother makes her scrub imaginary dirt off the floors. Out of her California town, too small to contain her big city dreams. Out of her life, and into the role of Parisian artist, New York director—anything but scared and alone.

Enter Gavin: charming, talented, adored. Controlling. Dangerous. When Grace and Gavin fall in love, Grace is sure it's too good to be true. She has no idea their relationship will become a prison she's unable to escape.

Deeply affecting and unflinchingly honest, this is a story about spiraling into darkness—and emerging into the light again.

Start reading now.